The Fear of Letting Your Roots Grow Deep

Originally published February 2016.

As the Gardener grows us and cultivates our transformation from seeds into saplings, into shrubs, into trees, we are often transplanted many different times into many different soils. Yet when we are transferred into new pots and soils, we cannot determine their quality or potential at first glance.

Some soils are rich in nutrients that cause us to thrive and grow exponentially, yet others are barren and empty underneath the topsoil that lures us in. However, in order to even allow ourselves to test the quality of the soil to tell if it is healthy or toxic, we must first find the courage to let our roots grow deep–deep enough to reach through the surface-level, fake topsoil of our environment and into the depths that house the micronutrients and minerals and vitamins that we need to survive.

Do not let the bacteria and fungi shy you away, for while some types are toxic and deadly, others can form symbiotic relationships with your roots and connect you to all of the other plants in the soil by weaving your roots into a beautifully intertwined community root system, where all of the plants work in unison to soak up the micronutrients they need to grow as one united ecosystem.

So many times when we are planted into new soil, we are afraid of letting our roots grow deep for various reasons…”Why would I invest my heart and get my roots wrapped up and  intertwined in other people and get attached if there is a chance that I will have to uproot again?” This is a completely valid thought process, because we are beings of comfort and like to take the path of least resistance, and it sucks having to leave a place that you have grown to love.

So you think, “Well, I’ll just let them grow enough to at least hold me in place and soak up the bare minimum of nutrients and water I need in order to stay alive, so that way it won’t hurt as bad when/if I have to leave.” But when we live like this, we leave ourselves in a constant state of deficiency–emotionally, spiritually, physically–because we are not in a place to be fed to a state of fullness. We are left in a constant state of that dull, achey hunger pain that is never quenched and never goes away, and in my eyes, this is the most miserable way to live.

Our roots become brittle and dry because they are not far down and invested enough to soak up the living water that is offered when we have the courage to let our roots grow deep. Then, because they are brittle and dry, it makes it even harder to survive if you do have to be replanted in another environment because you then go into the new environment in an already vulnerable state, having missed out on the opportunities of relationships and community that you would have had if you had invested in your previous soil.

And then further,  you have to work even harder to survive in your new soil, and it is easier to succumb to the lies of the Farmer Mother Culture that tell you that this fertilizer and that pesticide, this drug and that drink, this fungicide and that herbicide, this video or that one-night stand are what you need in order to grow quicker in this new soil..

It is easier and is not as much work to fuel ourselves with the things of this world, but what about the nutrients that are deep in the soil, underground?

Love, relationship, community, family, joy, peace, patience, kindness…

These are the fruits that are found underground, the fruits that are available to be reaped and sown in our lives, if only we would give the Divine Gardener a chance to grow them, if we would allow ourselves to grow and to grow deeply.

We must break through the stumps and rocks of fear of the unknown, unforgiveness, bitterness, lack of faith, resentment, anger, or whatever other stone may be blocking our roots from growth..for in the Spiritual realm, in the same way that one must eat to become hungry, one must be willing to grow down into the dark soil before being able to grow up out of it into the light. 

I pray that you would have the courage to let your roots grow deep into your soil, and I pray that the nutrients you find there would bring you life.

Cheers to the journey, and may your Spirit always reside in a state of wonder.