Creating Space For Wonder: An Introduction
Creating space for wonder.
Originally published Jan 2016.
“Wonder is defined as a constriction and suspension of the heart caused by amazement at the sensible appearance of something so portentous, great, and unusual, that the heart suffers a systole.” – Saint Albertus Magnus
I open my eyes and find myself existing in a world where the majority is trapped in a cage, shackled by the monotonous and the mundane, by the ordinary and trivial details that are falsely believed to be the ultimate goals of human existence. A world where so often the excitement of love and joy is overshadowed by the ever-looming smog of hatred and depression that suffocate the poor souls who find themselves intertwined in their choking grips, gasping for air, searching for anything, whether it be drugs, alcohol, sex, overeating, or any other numbing habit, to hold onto to keep their hearts beating before their will to live is vanquished forever. A world where dreams are put to death to further the lie that everyone must take the same journey through life—graduate high school, go to college, finish in 4 years and get the piece of paper that says you know something, get a job that’s comfortable so you can be deemed “successful,” but one, however, that does not make your heart come alive, buy some nice things, have a couple kids, send them off into the same cycle, buy more nice things, continuing to get wrapped up in the pursuit of the next bigger and better thing that you are told you “need” to be happy, until you’re 80 and on your death bed because your arteries are clogged from a diet of genetically modified foods filled with chemicals that have been slowly killing your body from the inside-out your whole life, and your heart doesn’t work anymore, since you haven’t had time to exercise it because you’ve been pulling 50-hour work weeks since your thirties because you found your identity in your job and felt lost without it, and then you say farewell to a planet filled with a raw and rugged beauty that you never really got to taste and see because you were forced to shut down core parts of your being in order to submit yourself to the system that took your mind captive and lulled it to sleep with Mother Culture’s song.
I find myself existing in a world where the presence of wonder is far from the front of the hearts, minds, and spirits of the humans that inhabit it.
I find myself existing in this world,
And my heart laments for it,
For I have known what it is like to live in that constant state of darkness,
Where wonder and beauty are no longer sensed,
And there is nowhere to go but nihilism,
Where everything is meaningless.
But I now know what it is like to find Light in the midst of that darkness,
When you were sure that it would never end,
Where the beauty of wonder recaptures you soul,
And leads you forward into life once again.
It is this idea of reawakening to wonder that I want to encourage and spread, for I believe wonder is the root of all inquisition, and inquisition the root of all growth—whether it be physical, mental, emotional, or Spiritual. I want to make it known that it is possible to go back to the garden and recapture our childlike wonder to be able to look upon our existence with awe and let it be the thing that leads us further into the pursuit of knowledge, wisdom, and truth.
I want you to reawaken to wonder, to ponder that which is your existence, and let your heart skip a beat and your mind be blown at the thought of the insanity of the intricate miracle that somehow this mass of matter filled with billions of individual organisms, large and small, works together to create and sustain life, and even more, that we have the ability to think and talk about its meaning.
This blog is one way for me to create space to be able to do just that, both for myself and hopefully for any person who happens to come across the words brought into this space, hence the title, “Creating Space For Wonder.” I have debated creating it for quite some time, and after a few months of pushing through my resistance to a crystal clear calling that has been relentlessly confirmed and forcing myself to get over my perfectionist fear of man and “just dive in,” I am going for it. I do not know where this blog will take me, whether hundreds will read it or only a few, if it will be a long-term or short-term season of my life, or where to even start. However, none of that matters because I do not have to know anything besides the fact that I am sure of the fire burning inside of my soul, and the fact that I can keep it inside of myself no longer.
My vision for this blog is to create a space where my various passions of spirituality, religion, psychology, philosophy, nutrition, and health could be explored and discussed in one space, both to help me organize the craziness that goes on inside the mass of matter, neurons, and electrical synapses in my skull, and also to bring the communities of each of those subjects into one discussion, because in my opinion, you cannot talk about one for very long without bringing any of the others into play as well. It will be a place to share my thoughts and discuss ideas, to ask hard questions and seek their answers, to reflect on readings and podcasts, and to share some of my creative writing pieces as well.
So, I welcome you aboard the ship that will sail through the unpredictable sea of the mind of Em.
Cheers to the journey, and may your Spirit always reside in a state of wonder.
I’ve had a few different meaningful conversations about depression this week with humans I love, and then On Being with Krista Tippett released some amazing interview archives on the topic of depression, which I devoured. My reflection from both of those things led to me writing some of my own language about what it feels like for me to experience depression in different seasons of my life. Depression, like many aspects of the human experience can only be pointed to with words. Words are never enough, but they’re at least a step toward naming what cannot fully be names, and that, I believe, is enough.